Try the “Big Pink Diet”

Here at Big Pink we are blessed with wonderful physiques, unquestionably attributable to excellent nutritional habits and appropriate exercise. Svelte, toned, energetic and happy we roam among the Pink clouds, sensibly yet elegantly clothed, surrounded by pictures of Hillary Clinton. Many, not Michelle, seek access to Big Pink dietary secrets. Today, like the Iranians yesterday, we will reveal our dietary atomic bomb.

How can you maintain yourselves in tip top physical shape? What are the secrets to toned arms and colt-like legs? Is there a chemical free, unquestioned, absolute best way to suppress the appetite?

An entire industry is dedicated to profit from the answers to the above questions. Usually there are high fees and berries associated with the answers to these health, diet, and exercise questions. Here at Big Pink, prodded by Bill Clinton’s health problems of yesterday, we will reveal dietary secrets never before revealed to man or woman – and all for the low cost of – FREE.

The Big Pink Diet secret, better than Atkins, South Beach, or any other diet is herewith revealed: Place an 8 x 11 photograph of Michelle Obama (or Barack Obama) inside your refrigerator and/or pantry. This photograph technique is not only an excellent appetite suppressant. Toned arms and nimble legs will soon be yours as you move swiftly and vigorously to open and shut refrigerator doors as quickly as possible. Heath and exercise benefits will soon be yours as you learn to leap through the air, laden with the few items you retrieve from the pantry or fridge without catching a glimpse of Michelle and/or Barack Obama.

[Warning: few (if any) other portraits will have the effects of Michelle/Barack Obama pictures. For instance, a Hillary Clinton portrait will cause you to dreamily consume the Godiva chocolates, Vodka and champagne stored in your freezer unit. You might pluck one of those, only for super special occasions, Sobranie of London Black Russian cigarettes from their box. The sleek elegant black cigarette topped with a gold foil filter, emblazoned with the Czarist Imperial Eagle – wisps of smoke dreamily transport you to a glorious day before anyone heard the name “Obama”.

Portraits of Claire McCaskill and/or John Edwards/Richardson/Dodd/Teddy/Oprah/Brazile/Pelosi/Bush/Russert have been reported to be efficacious as well, but not at the high levels of ambulatory fright and appetite suppressing horror as Mr. and Mrs. TOTUS/POTUS/FLOTUS.]

As always, before beginning a dietary and exercise program such as this one, make sure you consult with your physician.

You can read this awesome post here.


One Response

  1. Nice post there. I like The BIg Pink Diet.
    I surely will come back to read more of your posts.

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